Tribute to Twilight fans (New Moon, whatever)

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Dr. Suess is mostly good, but...

The Mizz loves this book. I don't.



If you can't see the video, click here.

1337! Now with a bike rack!

Had to stop and visit my baby.

Productive couch

I'm going to lose the nerd crown in my house. This was going on while I was doing dishes.

Franny's new do

Since Franny apparently won't post a pic...

Happy Birfday F!

Happy birthday Franny! It's not as easy to celebrate as it used to be, but I gotta recognize your day. :)

(Sorry about the poor picture. It's from the Mizz's zero point naught megapixel camera. D's always sleeping in the room with the good pics.)

Remember the point of the day

Happy 1st Birthday D!

I had to sneak a happy 1st birthday wish in here for D while it was still actually his birthday.  He's catching up with his brother just as fast as he can.  He figured out walking in about a week, and although he's not great at it yet, he loves it and gets further every day.

Tomorrow is official party day, with a Cinco de Mayo theme, including beer, margaritas, guacamole, and a pinata.  We're really just using D's birthday as an excuse to invite some friends over, but he doesn't seem to know that.  I'm pretty sure he doesn't read this blog yet, so everybody be cool.  Don't spill it to him, OK?

Maybe it's a good idea Dad's not on Facebook

Mom's okay, I suppose.  She'll never post anything about burping. :)

Erin Go Braghh

(pinch)

The Day the Muzak Died?

I'm not sure how it happened, but I found out about real news via the Onion, which noted that the Muzak company (elevator and hold music) filed for bankruptcy.  Turns out it's true, but that's not the point.

What got me is that I had almost forgotten about the term "elevator music", which maybe is their problem.  I work in a lot of different places these days, and I can't think of the last time I rode an elevator that was playing music.  Now, maybe I'm just not hanging around the classiest places, but I remember back when most public elevators in businesses had heart-stoppingly boring music playing, and you'd think that I'd stumble on it now and then if it was still popular.  It's almost the same thing with hold music.  These days, if there is anything playing at all, it's either some radio station that's local to the business's call center or propaganda from the business itself.  Usually, though, it's just stone cold silence, often making me think I've been disconnected.  (Since I'm usually on a cell phone these days, I don't even expect a dial tone to clue me in.)  Anyway, has this stuff largely disappeared, or am I just frequenting the wrong kind of establishments?

Who's your favorite president? Okay, now which one's the best?

C-Span released their 2009 Historians Presidential Leadership Survey today.  It ranks all the past presidents in a number of categories and called the overall winner as...drum roll please...Abraham Lincoln, who, you know, totally rocked.

As I'm sure everybody already knows, James Buchanan is officially the WORST.  PRESIDENT.  EVER.  Actually, I admit that before checking Wikipedia, I couldn't remember what he might have done that would warrant that title.  Apparently he didn't really do anything.  As in, he did nothing to stop the South from seceding.  That might have been it.

For the record, W came in number 36 (out of 42, if you have to ask).  Obama is still leaping tall buildings and shooting laser beams out of his eyes, so historians haven't noticed him yet.

The link at the top goes to the official C-Span survey page.  It has the whole list, as well as breakdowns of the categories in the survey.  A little light reading for political junkies.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day!  Whether you celebrate the Christian Saint, the cheesy romance, the massacre, or something else, everybody has an opinion.  Enjoy it however you want.

Franny and I both used to hate the day.  Actually, hate is too strong a word.  Apathy is closer.  (I may have mentioned this before, but...)  However, 10 years ago today, we took it back from the monsters in the greeting card industry.  You see, ten Valentine's Days ago, Franny agreed to marry me.  Since we still like each other after all this time, we still like the day.  We don't go overboard, but we do make sure to take the excuse to eat too much chocolate.  (Of course, other things, like rain or Tuesday, are good excuses too.)

My proposal was simple, but effective.  I found several conversation hearts that said "MARRY ME" and decorated a cupcake with them.  (It was one of the sad, mass-produced cupcakes from the grocery store bakery with too much sickly-sweet icing that Franny for some reason, LOVES.)  I was nervous as hell, and my overtired bride-to-be almost ate the snack without looking at the messages, but I slowed her down and the job got done.

For fun this year, I got another bag and dug out all the "MARRY ME" ones again.  Apparently morals have changed in 10 years, as there was a grand total of one.  However, there were several saying "FAX ME".  Perhaps, in 10 more years, they'll add "TEXT ME", you know, to keep up with the times.  There was also one that said "30 GIRL".  Can anyone tell me what that's supposed to mean?

Happy Friday the 13th

I hope you like Friday the 13th.  Apparently, we have 3 of them coming at us this year.  If you're into superstitious nonsense, here's a list of 13 tidbits about the date.  We can also apparently expect another Friday the 13th movie, as in another Jason Voorhees craptacular slashfest.  I really thought we played that one out.  In the 80's, they threatened to do 13 of them, but they seemed to get tired of it after about nine of them years ago.  However, I guess somebody needs to pay the bills, so here they go again.

I missed Charles Darwin's 200th birthday yesterday.  It's also the 150th anniversary of "On the Origin of Species..."  I'm not trying to a start a war, but his natural selection and evolution theories definitely influenced my view of the natural world, so I'm just putting out a thank you.  Apparently, England went a little loony yesterday, with Darwin events all over the place, including a reenactment of a debate between a Darwin supporter and a Church of England bishop.  Richard Dawkins (Darwin's rottweiler) was to play the part of Darwin's guy, and someone from the Church was going to be the bishop.  However, the Church guy was going to skip the part about which side of his opponents family was descended from monkeys.  Apparently, the Church of England is somewhat more scientifically enlightened than it was 150 years ago.  In the U.S., however, we apparently still want to fight about it.  Louisiana has taken the lead by adopting guidelines allowing teachers to bring in outside, unapproved material to add additional "facts" and debate about controversial topics, a plan aimed squarely at bringing anti-evolution material into science classes.  Say whatever you want about creationism, but it isn't remotely scientific (which is kind of the point) and has no place in science classes.  Happy now Chuck?  See what you started?

Imagining the tenth dimension

This video attempts to give you a way to imagine the concept of dimensions beyond the third.  Watch it and see why you do NOT want to mess with a physicist. Just TRY to follow it. I can think of more than a few people who's eyes are going glaze over way before the halfway point, making them wonder what I was smoking when I decided this video was cool. Maybe there's another science nerd out there who will like it though.

Watch Imagining the ten dimensions in How to Videos  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

Congratulations 44

Well, Barrack, you finally did it.  Good luck with the mess you've inherited.  If anyone can handle it (besides Franny), you seem like the guy.  You've broken an historic barrier today, but as the first Hawaiian president, you're setting a shining example for the world.  (If I were you though, I'd run over to the Supreme Court and redo that oath before the wingnuts find someone to read the Constitution to them.)

So I get this phone call from Franny...

"Is this the child abuse hotline?"

"Um.  Yeah.  Don't do it."

"Do you want to hear the offense first?"

Converting to Metric

Since I'm such a measurement nerd for work, I have to appreciate xkcd's Guide to Converting to Metric.  Enjoy.

Overheard at work

Among the many places I work, I am occasionally in R&D test kitchens.  They're pretty cool actually.  These people can come up with anything and have very well stocked kitchens to do it with.  But anyway, standing around tasting things all day apparently makes you a little punchy.

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"It's kind of chewy."

"Yeah, you have to hold it in your mouth for a while, like for an hour."

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"It's a good source of calcium."

"It's also a good source of butt fat."

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"Did you taste that bean thing the other day."

"It was awful.  It was like beans cooked with grass clippings."

"All I could think of was dirt.  It really smelled like dirt when I microwaved it."

"It tasted like a funeral for your pet."

[I can't say as I understand that last part.]

Can you keep the printer not coming to me?

A couple weeks ago, the Mizz was babbling his way through dinner and among other things, he started talking about the printer.  For some reason, he blurted out, "Can you keep the printer not coming to me?", I believe as some sort of toddler joke.  I didn't understand, so I asked for some clarification, and he repeated it.  In talking about it, however, it became clear that his little 3-year-old brain had latched onto it, and he actually got worried that the printer was going to come and get him.  He really needed me to make sure to keep the printer away.  For the next couple nights, the last thing we had to discuss on the way to bed was that I would keep the printer not coming to him.  I finally managed to convince him that, first of all, printers didn't usually try to get kids, and second, I had tied it to the computer AND the wall AND the phone.  I showed him the collection of wires and cables sticking out of the back of it and that seemed to be that.

A short time later, the Mizz started to ask about fire.  I don't know exactly what triggered it, but he seemed pretty concerned.  Every night, he asked, "Will you come get me if there's a fire?"  Each night he thought about it a little more and it morphed into things like, "If there's a fire outside the window, and we open the window, the fire will come inside.  If there's a fire outside the door, and we open the door, then it will come inside and we'll have TWO fires.  If there's a fire in the WHOLE room, then we'll have to jump over it.  Will you help me jump over the fire?"  "We could build a hose INSIDE if there's a fire.  Will you build a hose inside?"  "That's why we have a smoke betactor."  "I have some more questions about fire."  It finally settled back down to, "Will you come get me if there's a fire?" and then kind of chilled out for a couple days.

Then last night, as I'm leaving the room, I hear, "Will you come get me if there's a fire or a printer?"

[Added 1/20/09:  He's recently added, "Will you come get me if there's anything that makes me sad?  But that's mostly just fires and printers."  It must be hard to be three.]

Welcome, 2009

Except for the most wonderful arrival of D in May, I can't say this has been my favorite year.  It wasn't all bad, but it wasn't exactly roses either.

It was pretty sad to watch the housing market and the economy slowly and obviously tank in front of my eyes while the talking heads all claimed this was just a blip or that was just a minor correction.  W won't be missed by many.  It's been pretty embarrassing to have him represent me to the rest of the world, and only to have him become more and more impotent and ineffectual as everybody wished desperately for someone else.  It's sad to see that we are still in two wars, neither of which appear to be close to an end, one of which has not even achieved the goals of getting rid of the Taliban and finding the ass who started this whole mess in the first place.

I'm fully aware that we'll pull through this.  We always do.  When backed into a corner, we've quite often shown ourselves to be a pretty resilient country.  Hopefully, Obama will be able to help channel that energy in a positive direction.  I'm am hopeful that he will at least be able to put a positive and more generally appreciated face on the country.  I feel like he's got a more realistic world view than we've had lately and that every situation will not be approached as black and white or right vs. wrong.  Is it too much to ask that we have a leader that keeps everybody's interests in mind and tries for the best for everyone?  Probably, but I can hope, can't I?

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Well, that was about the most pessimistic Happy New Year I could have come up with.  Plus it was a day late.  Shame on me.  It's really not that bad.  I've got a wonderful wife and two excellent boys.  I've got a decent house, which is still worth more than I paid for it.  Although it's probably not recession-proof, my job appears to be relatively secure.  (At the very least, we service a lot of wastewater plants, and no matter how bad the economy, nobody stops flushing. :)  We've got a new president coming on board that I actually like so far.  Plus a tin full of cookies and candy just showed up in the mail, so how bad can things be exactly?

Here's wishing everyone a happy and safe 2009!