Tribute to Twilight fans (New Moon, whatever)

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Dr. Suess is mostly good, but...

The Mizz loves this book. I don't.



If you can't see the video, click here.

Maybe it's a good idea Dad's not on Facebook

Mom's okay, I suppose.  She'll never post anything about burping. :)

Congratulations 44

Well, Barrack, you finally did it.  Good luck with the mess you've inherited.  If anyone can handle it (besides Franny), you seem like the guy.  You've broken an historic barrier today, but as the first Hawaiian president, you're setting a shining example for the world.  (If I were you though, I'd run over to the Supreme Court and redo that oath before the wingnuts find someone to read the Constitution to them.)

Converting to Metric

Since I'm such a measurement nerd for work, I have to appreciate xkcd's Guide to Converting to Metric.  Enjoy.

Overheard at work

Among the many places I work, I am occasionally in R&D test kitchens.  They're pretty cool actually.  These people can come up with anything and have very well stocked kitchens to do it with.  But anyway, standing around tasting things all day apparently makes you a little punchy.

----------

"It's kind of chewy."

"Yeah, you have to hold it in your mouth for a while, like for an hour."

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"It's a good source of calcium."

"It's also a good source of butt fat."

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"Did you taste that bean thing the other day."

"It was awful.  It was like beans cooked with grass clippings."

"All I could think of was dirt.  It really smelled like dirt when I microwaved it."

"It tasted like a funeral for your pet."

[I can't say as I understand that last part.]

Um...just watch this

This probably doesn't say anything good about me, but this video just about pegs my nerd-meter.

Toddler Manifesto

Franny e-mailed this to me. It came via an e-mail, via an e-mail, via an e-mail, etc., so I don't know where it actually came from. As Franny put it, the Mizz scored a 95, which is an A in anyone's book, but it looks like he still has at least a little bit of trouble to learn how to cause.

If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed, or smeared.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the
floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or
table.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without
protest. It must be pushed by me instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it is paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it IS food, it must not be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it is a carseat, it must be protested with arched back.
If it is Mommy, it must be hugged.
I am toddler!

Another Wedding Video (for starters)

After the wedding videos from the other day, I was amused to stumble on this one too:



I was ready to ignore that video until moments later, when I stumbled on the next one. I should be embarrassed about it, but I have a tad bit of unfortunate history with the song, so I just can't help myself. Sad. Very sad... (Tutu should probably not play any more of these. Just sayin'.)



I had no idea how much YouTubers (iPotatoes?) liked this song. Plus they have a lot of time on their hands. There are a ton of these remixes/homages.



That ought to be enough, but if for some reason you need it, here's the original. Does anybody remember when this video was considered too racy for MTV? A little before hardcore gangsta rap and endless spring break specials.



I wonder if I'll ever develop a sense of good taste???

For the Wedding Nuts in my Family

Check out these Unusual Wedding Dance Videos.

Just how drunk do you have to be?

This guy drove into a Portland light-rail tunnel Saturday morning. He told police he was on his way home. I guess the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Apparently, he was under the influence. Who would have guessed?

Driver drives car into MAX Westside lightrail tunnel

Yeah, I Rock

I used to be the guy on the left. Then I played the game. Now I understand. (From xkcd.com)

What song is this?

A rousing round of Guess the Backward Song...

[Addendum 12/29/07: Sorry if you haven't been able to see this video. I used the new YouTube feature to post a video directly into a blog. It worked right after I did it, but apparently something changed since then and the video stopped showing. I'm trying again a different way. Better luck this time, I hope.]

Wisdom

Franny says I gotta post more. So here's some philosophy I found enlightening. As always, click to make it readable.

Separated at Birth?: Fonzie edition

Make a fist. Make a fumb. Make a AAAYYYY!

Odds and Ends

Here's some more stuff that I've found interesting/amusing, but that for one reason or another, didn't justify immediate mention. You probably won't care about most of this stuff, but that's why it's all lumped together.

Since campaign season is well upon us again, check out FactCheck.org. They are pretty good about cutting through a lot of the political bull, especially where numbers are thrown around.

Anybody heard about Constitution Day? It is on the anniversary of the day of adoption of the U.S. Constitution, September 17th. Specifically it is the day that all high schools and colleges receiving federal money (most schools, certainly all public ones) must teach about the constitution. Don't worry if you don't know about this. Apparently, neither do most students. It is new as of 2004. What ever happened to government class? I remember the Constitution being a pretty important issue back when I was in high school. I don't know anyone in college who wasn't well versed in it. What's happened since? Does Congress assume that since the current administration has apparently never read the Constitution, then probably nobody else is aware of it either. As a fun additional factoid, Constitution Day was proposed by Senator Robert Byrd of WV, who apparently always carries a copy of the document with him.

Google has launched "The Google" for older adults who may or may not be terribly internet-savvy. I originally thought of my parents when I read this article, but that's not really fair. Although they don't know beans about their actual computer, they are pretty good at finding their way around the internet. Which means they're probably reading this and know I'm making fun of them. Crap.

On a related note. For those unaware, RTFM means "Read The Freaking Manual." Or something like that.

Congress is finally standing up to the President and promoting real science again. Yay!

Did you know giraffes do this? I hardly ever even see them as active at all. I saw a film of one running once, but usually they're just slowing rambling around their pen at the zoo munching leaves or whatever.


Lastly, a little debate fodder for Franny's former coworkers.

In The Know: Is The Government Spying On Paranoid Schizophrenics Enough?

Who needs Zagat's

This sounds vaguely familiar. (Click if it's too small to read.)

Huh?

This is what I get when I ask for a really big smile. Something gets lost in translation.

And the Mother-of-the-Year Award Goes to...

...the woman in Oklahoma who decided to use her toddler as a shield when a bounty hunter tried to use a taser on her boyfriend. There are just so many wonderful parts to this story, I don't know where to begin.

Maybe this is why my sister decided to have so many kids. A little army of human shields. For like 9 years, she's had someone small enough to keep her out of harm's way. Heck, for most of that time, she's been able to have at least two of them at wearable age; a toddler in a backpack with a little one strapped on the front. A little drooling flak jacket. Good thinking Jenn. Maybe there's a method to your madness after all.

I'm not sure the Mizz would stop much. He's kind of a bean pole. His alarm scream is excellent though.

Hey, wait a minute...

I've been told (mainly by my sisters) that I can be like this from time to time. Probably because I'm usually right. Maybe us nerds are just smarter than everyone else, and therefore we're more likely to be right. Yeah, that must be it.