If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed, or smeared.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the
floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or
table.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without
protest. It must be pushed by me instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it is paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it IS food, it must not be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it is a carseat, it must be protested with arched back.
If it is Mommy, it must be hugged.
I am toddler!
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Toddler Manifesto
Franny e-mailed this to me. It came via an e-mail, via an e-mail, via an e-mail, etc., so I don't know where it actually came from. As Franny put it, the Mizz scored a 95, which is an A in anyone's book, but it looks like he still has at least a little bit of trouble to learn how to cause.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
good evening everyone. I'm actually into shoes and I have been digging for that meticulous model. The prices for the velcros were all over 320 dollars on every page. But completely I set this area selling them as a remedy for half price. I absolutely love those [url=http://www.shoesempire.com]prada sneakers[/url]. I will definetly order those. what is your opinion?
Hello. And Bye.
good day everyone. I'm actually into shoes and I have been looking for that particular model. The prices seeking the boots are about 180 pounds on every site. But finally I base this locate selling them as a remedy for half price. I exceptionally want these [url=http://www.shoesempire.com]gucci sneakers[/url]. I will definetly buy those. what can you say about it?
hi there people. I'm really into shoes and I have been searching for the sake of that singular brand. The prices as regards the shoes were approximately 320 pounds everwhere. But completely I set this location selling them as a remedy for half price. I absolutely like these [url=http://www.shoesempire.com]gucci sneakers[/url]. I will absolutely buy those. what can you tell me about these?
good morning dudes. I'm really into shoes and I had been digging for that particular brand. The prices for the velcros were about 320 pounds everwhere. But definitively I set this location selling them for the benefit of half price. I really like these [url=http://www.shoesempire.com]gucci sneakers[/url]. I will probably order these. what do you think?
Post a Comment