"This just in from our 24/7 Storm Tracker Team Coverage of Arctic Blast '08. We take you live to the corner of 36th and Yada Yada, where, for some reason, Susie the Weather Chick is reporting live from a gas station at 4:30 in the morning."
"As you can see behind me, the station is pretty much empty now, but is was busy last night as people prepared to hunker down for this winter storm. We talked to the clerk inside and he said it was slightly busier than normal last night and that people were buying Doritos to stock up. I want you to see something. Can we pan out and show the truck. [Pan out to see open delivery truck, probably delivering Doritos.] Well he's not there right now, but the driver was wearing shorts! Isn't that crazy? [Pan back to overexcited reporter.] Anyway, we thought we saw a few flakes earlier and we got pretty excited, but as you can see, it's just rain right now. The roads appear to be getting a little slick though. [Pan to show car driving by with no trouble whatsoever.] It's looking like it going to get pretty interesting out here today. Live from a gas station, this is Susie the Weather Chick. Back to you."
"Thank you Susie. Our [big breath] 24/7 Storm Tracker Team Coverage Arctic Blast '08 Storm Coverage Weather Center is just showing rain right now as well, but the National Weather Service forecasts that if the temperature drops below freezing, the rain could turn into sleet or snow and the roads would likely freeze over. In other news, one source reports that if a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump it's ass when it hopped."
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Seriously, Arctic Blast '08 is what one station is calling our weather. We did have a bit of snow and some ice, but it's hardly as newsworthy as everybody's pretending. It's been raining only for most of the last 20 hours or so and does not look like it's going to be below freezing until this evening, but we're still under a winter weather advisory. For the record, the preceding report was not near as fictional as it should have been. Most of that is only slightly edited versions of what was actually reported.
On the fun side, the few flakes that were dropping yesterday morning were huge (1/8 inch) perfect snowflake shapes. I'd never actually seen snowflakes that looked like snowflakes are supposed to look before. I felt like a little kid for a moment.
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2 comments:
I just saw the word "snowpocalpyse" on the Oregonian website. I hope that is slightly overstated.
If it sticks around for a couple more days, I assume we'll hear about "snowmageddon" next. We do have 14 inches of snow. I mean, who could survive THAT?!?!
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