But Officer, I couldn't have been doing more than 25,000 mph

I'm sure by now, everyone's heard about NASA's drunken astronauts. I'm amused that the best an brightest pilots and scientists that the federal government can find need an explicit clarification that, yes, the 12-hour rule about drinking before flying does indeed apply to space flight as well. Oh, well, these are top gun style test pilots after all. And, as one caller mentioned on the radio, "I'd need a few drinks in me too before you got me into a rocket built by the lowest bidder."

Another Reason to Love Portland

How many places can you pull off skiing, boating, and surfing in one day with a pit stop in a major city? Go Portland!

Where the heck has Dave been lately anyway?

I've been told by my reader that I have to blog something. I suppose it has been a while. I guess I just haven't been in the mood lately, but here goes...

I've been working on the Oregon Coast this week. If you have to travel for work, you could do worse. Most of the work this week is between Tillamook and Seaside, but I also had to make a run down to Newport. The weather's been on and off, but hey, it's Oregon.

Most of the work out here is at wastewater plants, but I worked at the Tillamook County Creamery the other day. It a dairy that makes awesome cheese and ice cream. I'm not sure how far away you can get it, but it's good stuff. Whenever I work there I have to check out the visitor area. It was raining which means the place was crawling with tourists, so I didn't bother to wait for the free samples. I did however need to check out the viewing area. There is a whole section overlooking the packaging floor where you can watch industrial stuff happen. I always love watching assembly line processes. In this area, 50 lb. blocks of fresh cheese come in one end, get cut to the right size, and packaged before rolling out the other end on conveyor belts. Just listening to the other watchers, it's amazing to me how little people understand machine-looking things. I admit that I might be more technically trained than the average Joe, but it's very comical listening to people guessing what various machines and workers are doing. I feel bad for the folks working on the floor down there too. Not only are they working a boring-ass production job wearing all white uniforms and hair nets, but every tourist in Oregon is watching them do it. Somebody next to me sang the Oompa Loompa song.

This morning I met a couple lab cats. Lab kittens actually. I almost stepped on one of them sitting in the doorway of the first lab of the day. Apparently, their mother was killed by a raccoon and one of the guys bottle-fed 5 kittens until they could eat. 2 of them now live there. They were a little cautious of me at first, but pretty quickly they decided it would be fun to play on my feet and equipment for the rest of the time I was there. I tried to grab a picture of them on my phone, but like toddlers, they didn't sit still for long.

I have been staying in Garibaldi for the last couple days. There's not much going on in Garibaldi. It's the main port/marina for Tillamook Bay, but there's not much more to it than that. The marina was about 1/3 commercial fishing boats, 1/3 charter fishing boats, and 1/3 personal boats that looked very small for the ocean, especially next to the other 2/3. There's a lumber mill here too, but not much else.

I ate at the Pirate's Cove, which is supposed to be the best restaurant in town. There are only like 2 or 3 other places anyway, so there's not much competition. The food was decent and it had a nice view of the bay, but that's about it. The service was slow and the atmosphere sucked. The Pirate's Cove sounds like it should be cool, but don't be fooled. It was vaguely nautical, but only with the kind of seashell cutesy crap that your grandmother might keep around (not YOUR grandmother, of course, but you know the kind of stuff I mean). Basically, I spent half as much and had a better time eating a burger at a local fisherman's dive bar across the street from the hotel the other night.

The bread was really good at the Pirate's Cove though and I ate WAY too much of it. Dummy.

I'll be finishing up out here tomorrow and heading back home for the weekend. Good thing too, 'cuz I miss Franny and the Mizz, and as he can now tell me on the phone, he misses me too. I don't know if he knows what it means, but he knows to tell me it on the phone anyway. I'll take it.

Correct use of Ironic?

Franny and I decided to veg out and flip on the TV tonight. Not normally news, but we rarely do it. Nothing righteous; we just don't seem to care about TV much. Anyway, it reminded me of some movie I saw some time ago (How's that for vague? Maybe somebody can remember the movie for me.) where and old guy claims not to watch TV because it's always the same. Somebody turns on to a rerun of "I Love Lucy" and he says something like "Yep, same as last time." Anyway, we sat there realizing that we are enjoying "Seinfeld." A fine show sure, but "same as last time."

Anyway, the point is that we turned on the television for the first time in probably weeks. The ironic part is that after giving up on the brain-melting effect that is summer TV, I'm surfing the internet and find out that July 20th is National No TV Day. Granted, the nation is the United Kingdom, and the day is basically a protest against the cancellation of some show you've never heard of, but it seemed like an ironic thing to find that we picked the exact day to tune in.

Now, that's not a very interesting story, but my question is, does it qualify as ironic, or is it just another Alanis Morissette line?

Lights on...lights off...lights on...lights off...

We've discovered that the Mizz is at least as smart as a chimpanzee. He has learned to use tools (in this case, a large cooking spoon) to interact with things that are out of his reach (in this case, light switches). I'm not sure yet whether this is a blessing or a curse. On the one hand, I shouldn't have to either turn lights on and off or deal with a child who is mad at me for failing to turn lights on and off. On the other hand, my house is now a siezure-inducing rave party. For the moment, it's at least a change of pace, so I'll take it.

Blue fire...blue fire...blue fire...

This is the Mizz's new favorite tricked-out rice-burner. All he could say was "Blue fire...blue fire...blue fire..." We had to stop and see it again on the way home because he wanted to see the "blue fire car...blue fire car..." He gets stuck on things sometimes. This was at the Woodstock Festival Cruz-in, part of the Woodstock Parade and Festival near our house. Most of the cars were restored classics, but this was the only one that the Mizz was even remotely interested in. If there had been some fire trucks however...

To the guy's credit, the gull-wing doors are a very cool addition.

An iPhone for Franny

Franny is totally in love with the iPhone, which is understandable. So I got her one:



This is as close as it's going to get for a while. For those who are interested, the "used" iPhone is available on eBay, and includes, absolutely free, one of the blenders. As of press time, the high bid for the package is $510.

This is from Will It Blend?, a web site of a guy selling blenders, not iPhones. To his credit, if you watch some of the videos in the "Don't try this at home" section, it is a very impressive blender.

(Addendum 7/29/07: I just happened to check on this eBay auction. The winning bid for blended iPhone and blender was $910. Some people have too much money on their hands.)

Happy Belated Birthday to Me!

The 10th was my birthday, but I guess I didn't have much to say then. It was actually a fairly low key day. No big deal since I had already had 2 birthday cakes. (I did save a piece for the actual day though.) A couple friends came up Saturday with their two little ones and I shared a cake with the Mizz and another July toddler. It was an excellent cake with homemade chocolate mouse as frosting and homemade chocolate ganache drizzled over the top. On Sunday, we had a few people over for pizza and Franny made me her special spice cake with non-special frosting. Normally when she makes it for me, she makes Kahlua frosting, but in deference to the toddlers and the pregnant woman in attendance, she just made really good non-Kahlua but insanely sweet frosting. It was still excellent, and it was nice to have friends over to share it with.

35 seems like it should be some kind of momentous birthday, but it doesn't feel that way. Maybe it's because I feel more like a 20-something masquerading as a 35-year-old. I'm running around acting like and adult, but it doesn't feel right. If only I could figure out what I want to be when I grow up...

On the plus side, at 35 I can now be elected president. Keep that in mind when you go to the polls next year. I'm pretty sure most states accept write-ins. I figure I could stumble into the white house blind drunk and do at least as well as the current occupant. If I tried it sober, I'd probably come off looking like George Washington in comparison.

Happy 4th of July!

I think it's awesome that we get a chance to celebrate telling King George and England to stuff it. And to think it was all just because they decided to slap a little tax on the tea. (Oregon just told our legislature the same thing when they tried to put another 5 cents per beer tax in place. Although I'm not sure how we would have declared independence from Oregon. It's the thought that counts anyway.) So here's to diplomatically giving the finger to the King.

In the immortal words of Thomas Jefferson in The Declaration of Independence:

You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, son of a silly person! Ah blow my nose at you, so-called "[George] Keeeng"! You and all your silly English Knnnnnnnn-ighuts!!! ... Ah don' wanna talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food-trough wiper! Ah fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries! ... Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!

I couldn't have said it better myself.

---------

On a serious note, Franny and I were discussing the state of things the other day, and it got me thinking about our country and what direction it has come and is going. I can't for a second agree that "We're number #1" about everything, but we do a pretty good job about a lot of things.

We've got the longest lasting constitution in the world, and although we were about 3000 years late for the first democracy, we have one that is surviving quite well despite the beliefs of those at either end of the political spectrum. We have one of the highest standards of living in the world, some of the best unspoiled protected wilderness, the ability to grow something like twice the food we need, and the strongest work ethic and ingenuity around. We have shown time and again that as a country we can rise to whatever challenge confronts us. The Japanese hit us with an attack that was intended to cripple us and we came back out of a decade-long depression to beat both them and the Nazis. The Soviets launched a little beeping satellite and we sent so many men to the moon that the country got bored watching. The Asian tiger economies looked like they were about the buy the country right out from under us, so we invented the internet (thanks Gore), which has shown itself to be a dominant new paradigm in world-wide communication.

This is not intended as a flag-waving, toot-our-own-horn, we're-the-best type of jingoism. We clearly have some issues. I just mean to point out that for all our faults and foibles, this is a pretty good setup we have here. Mexicans will still want to move here. Gays will still want to get married. Hunters will still want assault weapons. Whatever. We will absorb all that, settle somewhere in the middle, and move on to the other "big" issues to keep ourselves occupied, all the while remaining one of the most successful countries on the planet.

For the most part we disagree endlessly about lots of things, but I can't think of a single time when a governing official in this country has refused to relinquish power after an election, or when we had anyone forcefully take control of any part of government. We have the occasional close call that sparks lots of debate about the "real" winner, but with 300 million opinions to worry about, that's not surprising, and we somehow manage to keep functioning anyway regardless of the outcome. We make a lot of noise about contentious issues, but in the end, almost everyone agrees that peacefully continuing the system we've got is far better than anything else we could come up with right now.

I hear too often that what's going on right now is the worst ever or that this is the straw that's going to break the camel's back, but from what I know of history, there's pretty much always been someone saying those things. And as far as the worst ever, we've survived the British trying to take us back, all out civil war, slavery, and two World Wars. The fact that we don't completely approve of what the president is doing right now is hardly even noteworthy in the long run. As long as we have the national will to give a damn about Paris Hilton, our situation is not that bad.

So Happy 4th of July and enjoy what we've got going here. Wake up tomorrow and work to make it better; just don't forget what you've got to work with.

Happy Birthday Mizz!

The Mizz is officially twice as old as he was yesterday. He turned two. We made him say that many times, but I don't think he knows what he's talking about. He likes to count, but the numbers don't mean much to him. He can count quite well to 13, but that means that there are 13 of anything he counts. If he runs out of things, he just points to the same ones again until he gets to 13. And then he gives himself a big "YAY!" He even had 13 feet the other day. He counted them both a couple times and then moved on to lights in the room until he got to the proper number.

We surprised him this morning with a train set -- his first. As you can see, he dug right in.



Five minutes later, witness the destruction that is Mizzilla. He didn't really need the track set up anyway since he mainly just liked stuffing things through the wonderful suspension bridge, whether they fit or not. It turns out that, with persistence, even a helicopter or a jetliner can go right on through. I'm sure Jerry Brockheimer would like to know that little tidbit. I highly recommend clicking and enlarging this second picture. His expression is priceless.



It was a fairly low-key day for the Mizz. Franny took him to the zoo and then we went out to eat this evening at Claim Jumper with some family who wandered into town. The food was fine, but there was WAY too much of it. I ordered a half-size country fried steak (Yes, there's still some southern in me.) that would have overlapped the sides of a normal plate. Luckily they brought it on a platter. I can't even imagine the size of a full order. I imagine a side of beef, breaded and deep fried in a hot tub. The Mizz had a good time coloring on his place mat and eating the food Franny smuggled in from home. They even had a free kid's plate with cheese and applesauce, so he was set. He could get as loud as he needed and nobody in that place could even hear him over the din of the cavernous room. Excellent place to take a toddler.

Return from Gobs of Family

We returned from Colorado last night. They actually had the Internet there, but I didn't have two minutes together to sit down and write anything. And there were things to write.

We stayed with my sister Jenn in Castle Rock for a few days in her new place with all her kids and my parents, and even my other sister Jana for a couple of the nights. The total at peak was 15 people in the house. I'm not sure there is a house big enough to make that seem reasonable, but we did our best. Jenn's family accounted for almost half of the crowd so they are used to the general mayhem. The rest of us adjusted as best we could, but I think everyone did fine. The hospitality, as always, was wonderful. As was the view. They have an unobstructed view of the sunrise to the East and Pikes Peak to the South, and due to land use and zoning issues, both of those views are well preserved for the foreseeable future.

We went up to Nicky's Resort in Estes Park, Colorado for the actual reunion. I was going to link to their website, but it appears to have disappeared. That might be due to the bankruptcy. Apparently, the place is not doing well. Not to say that the accommodations were bad. The units we stayed in (townhouses/condos) were actually renovated not too long ago and were fairly decent. We had a large yard out back next to Bear Creek that we could use for gatherings and there was a hot tub right behind us. So that part was good. On the other hand, there was nobody in the front office the days we arrived and left and some of the facilities had fallen by the wayside. The amenities list included washer/dryer in each unit. There were hookups, but no actual washer/dryers. We ended up talking them into letting us use the industrial housekeeping ones. Joy. The tennis court was also not being kept up as it was cracked and had quite a nice weed field growing in it. But the best part was the pool. There was a heated outdoor pool on-site. We were told upon arrival that it was down because the heat exchanger froze, however, someone should be out to repair it "this afternoon, or maybe tomorrow." Once we saw it though, we realized that we probably weren't going to see any water polo games. The heat exchanger may have frozen, but it must have been in January, and maybe not this year. The water was about a foot low and green. You couldn't see the bottom, but that was hard to notice since your eyes were drawn to the two dead squirrels floating around. Good thing they put a padlock on the gate. Someone might have tried to take a dip. Enough complaining though. Despite the detractions, it was a beautiful site. Trees all around. Nestled in a valley between beautiful rocky ridges. And only a couple miles from Rocky Mountain National Park. And the condos, hot tub, creek, and open area were just what we needed. The point of the gathering was to visit with family, not go swimming.

The actual reunion was a lot of fun, if tiring. Although we didn't have the most kids (Jenn and Cousin Steven tie for that one) or the youngest (Jana), we did have the most difficult to corral. The Mizz is at a stage where his mobility far outstrips his sense. (I'm told this will happen again at 16.) He can now run pretty quickly (for three feet tall anyway) and doesn't see any reason not to do so. He is also learning to climb, but again, isn't aware that it isn't always a good idea. He's still insanely interested in lights, but now he knows about switches. If he can reach them (by whatever means), they will go on and off until he notices another one. If he can't reach them he will holler "Light on!" or "Light off!" ad nauseum until someone makes it so. In one instance, Franny found him sitting in the bathroom sink with the water running on his legs flicking the light switch on and off. As she put it, all he needed was a plugged-in toaster to complete the danger trifecta. I'm sure she'll post a picture of it before too long. Basically, either Franny or I had to be tending to him at all times. Once in a while we managed to pawn him off on another relative for a little while, but we usually took him back pretty soon when it became apparent that he was taxing them too much. The problem is that we like our relatives, and although we want everyone to enjoy the wonderful critter that is the Mizz, we feel bad sticking them with him for any length of time. For our sanity's sake, we're going to have to get over that.

We actually had fun showing off the Mizz. Between wild episodes, he was very good about giving hugs and singing the "ABC Song" and even remembering names occasionally. It did melt a few hearts when he would say "Bye bye Book [Brooke]" or whatever. He's actually super cute and friendly, just busy. He's rarely badly behaved, just hard to contain. He was even relatively good on the planes, despite the fact that his feet comfortably reach the seat in front of him. (He could have slept better at night, but we're blaming that on the altitude.)

Aside from herding the Mizz, we had a great time. It's always nice to see relatives. Lots of these people never see each other except for at these reunions. It's good to keep in touch with family at least occasionally. Without these gatherings, I'm sure I would never again see some of these folks, and that would definitely be a loss. The most pathetic example is the 2 dozen or so that live about 15 miles from us. They haven't been super close to us over the years, but it seems like we might get together at least once in a while. It's like the trip across the river into another state is extreme travelling. Sad. I just hope our "We really should get together sometime" isn't as transparently unrealistic as the Jewish "Next year in Jerusalem" is to the other half of my family. We say it all the time, but it doesn't happen. Maybe this time we meant it.

We always bring out lots of family pictures at these things. Some are lighthearted remembrances of the other reunions, but many are old pictures either of people there or those that have passed. This was especially true since two of the three Brooks/Bailey kids passed away in the last year, so there was a lot of remembering going on. There were 10 or so poster boards put up ranging from the newest addition to the family who couldn't make it since she is only a week or two old, to pictures of tintypes from the mid-1800's. Jim Brooks (the new patriarch of the clan) had done a lot of work lately and had traced one line of ancestors back to someone born in 1783. Just talking to people, I learned all kinds of stories about the family's background in lots of directions. I even learned a bit more about Dad's side of the family the more we discussed this stuff. Fascinating.

There's always the singing. This family even gets to doing that at smaller gatherings. Sitting around hearing people play whatever instrument they brought and everyone singing a bunch of folk standards is a given. We didn't have a campfire to sit around this year, but that didn't slow anyone down. (No burning down what's left of Colorado's bone-dry trees). And the drinking. That's pretty much a standard too. Not everyone is involved, but those who are seem to enjoy tying an extra one on just for this event. At least we never got the the Brooks Burner this year. That ugly drink hurt several of us last time. So I guess we're maturing. That must be it.

We have a wagon master. Who doesn't? This is a rotating position that means you're stuck with finding a cool place for a reunion and coordinating everything ahead of time. Plus once it starts, you have to make sure everything happens like it's supposed to. I wouldn't say it's quite a thankless task, but it is a pain in the butt. Mom got the honor this time around, so we all got to help. I made excellent name tags. The job is working its way through my mother's generation right now, so I figure I have at least 5 more reunions before I have to be too worried about responsibility. However, if I'm not the oldest of my generation, I'm second, so I figure I've got 15-20 years to prepare. I'll get right on it.

The oddest thing about these reunions are the events. There were silly contests based on the favorite activities of the two folks who died recently. This was a way to honor their memories while still being able to keep things a little upbeat. We had high-speed quilting and blindfolded clock-making. There were also two skits put on by one part of the family, one of which involved 6 grown men and one 17 year old guy acting out the goodbye song from The Sound Of Music. Doesn't every family do this kind of thing? According to Franny (and several other in-laws), no. But we apparently have no shame about it and everybody had a good time watching, even the aforementioned in-laws.

All in all, we had a great trip. Aside from being tired from staying up too late with the adults and getting up too early with the Mizz, I squeezed as much fun and family bonding as I could out of the week. Which is why I slept in all the way to 8:30 this morning (thank you Franny) and haven't really done much of importance since. I figured I could allow myself to relax a little before I get back into the normal grind tomorrow.